Student searches for new methods in attempt to stay awake
Clarionion | Marsha M. Allo
A student caught unawares in class | Photo for The Clarion courtesy of MCT
Bethel student David Mackleberry admitted to the press on Monday that he has trouble staying awake in class. Last week, Mackleberry woke up to a puddle of drool on his desk and his professor looming over him.
“I couldn’t remember where I was,” admitted Mackleberry. “But when I came to, I realized I had fallen asleep.”
Mackleberry’s professor, who will remain anonymous, said that the student falls asleep often in class.
Mackleberry confirmed this with reporters, saying that he has been experimenting with new ways to stay awake in class.
“I’ve tried staring at the lights in the ceiling for a while, but that didn’t work,” commented Mackleberry. “I try to drink water or eat something, but I always have trouble keeping my eyes open. I need some new tactics.”
Mackleberry’s friends from class are also doing their best to help him out.
Classmate Aaron Trentonson, who sits directly behind Mackleberry, stated, “When I see him start to nod off, I punch him in the arm or give him a kick in the kidney … whatever works.”
Other classmates have tried coughing, nudging and spilling water on Mackleberry. Unfortunately, these efforts have not been effective.
But with finals week a mere three weeks away, napping in class isn’t an option anymore. In light of this fact, Mackleberry will be forced to use the last weapon in his arsenal: caffeine.
“I guess I will try drinking a lot of coffee in class,” commented Mackleberry. “I just can’t keep falling asleep.”