We began November with Family Weekend and we end it with a traditional family holiday—Thanksgiving. For Family Weekend, many happy families visited Bethel to enjoy a variety of activities and to see what was happening in the lives of their sons or daughters. This snapshot of college life was mostly fun, included some serious and not-so-serious conversation, and made most families thankful for changes they were beginning to observe.

For Thanksgiving, many happy families will travel to be together, eat too much turkey, and discover that some of the changes happening in the lives of their students are better observed at a distance! For students, heading home for their first extended visit is often a jarring reminder that dorm life is not like home life. The independence of eating what one wishes, when one wishes, coming and going when one wishes, exploring the beliefs that one wishes to explore bump up against the routines, roles, and structures of family life. Some parents conclude that it is worth paying large sums of money to send them back to campus! Over the years of college, however, parents and children get used to each other and recognize the changes that adulthood is bringing. Students usually wind up pretty close to where their parents are in views about faith and life—but the journey can go to some challenging places. It is good to have a conversation about these things soon in the coming time together.

Not all families are happy, however. This is a stressful season for many. Job loss, heath issues, marital stress, and other issues can make the normal family dynamics more complex. Each year we grieve with students whose parents divorce, who suffer a death of a relative, or who try to come to grips with a family that is dysfunctional. Few of us make it very far into adulthood without some challenging dynamic in our family system. The thought of going home for some students is painful. Our prayer for these students and their families is that Bethel will be a place where healing occurs, healthy models are found, and hope takes root.

The family of God has its complexities as well. Times of deep joy, times of true sorry, and times of bewilderment! One of the things that Barb and I have learned from loving our children at all stages of life is that God’s love for us is amazing and patient. We understand God more fully through our experiences in parenting. So, as we head into Thanksgiving week, we are thankful for our children and grandchildren and thankful for the families who trust their students (at all life stages) to Bethel University.