You probably won’t read this

March 28, 2013 | 11 a.m.

Clarionion | Marsha M. Allo

You probably won’t read this

You won't see this photo, or read this caption.

Bethel students flock to the newspaper stands every Thursday in gleeful anticipation of what they will read in The Clarion. There are hardly any papers left after the mob finishes their rampage of grabbing all The Clarions they can carry.

One student, Marshal Polklo, voiced his love for The Clarion, “Oh. The Clarion. Yeah … is that the newspaper or something?”

Polklo isn’t the only student completely obsessed with The Clarion. Junior Julian Mitchals pretty much lives for the new releases of The Clarion.

“I think I’ve read The Clarion before. I just skimmed through the pictures though,” Mitchals said.

The most-loved section of The Clarion is, of course, the Clarionion, which is ingeniously written with a cunning and witty style that is sure to make everyone laugh. It is by far the most popular section in the paper, located right on the back page. Students just can’t get enough.

One student proclaimed, “Oh yeah. I don’t read past the first two sentences.”

Another avid Clarionion lover was quoted saying, “What the heck is the Clarionion?”

The praise for the Clarionion seems to never stop with people saying things like, “This isn’t funny,” and “The newspaper makes great kindling.”

Although the huge stack left after a week may prove otherwise, students are dying to grab a copy of The Clarion as fast as they can.


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