War breaks out in 3900 Grill

April 25, 2013 | 11 a.m.

Students fight for seats closest to outlets

Clarionion | Marsha M. Allo

War breaks out in 3900 Grill

The outlet that started the war.

War has broken out in the 3900 Grill as students fight each other for seats that are closest to the plug-ins.

The scuffle broke out yesterday when two students, with nearly dead computers, both needed an outlet. Jordan Gerb and Kevin Lane were both heading to plug in their computer chargers when they suddenly crashed into each other. Being the kind Minnesotans they are, they excused themselves and went about their business. However, when they discovered that there was only one outlet, chaos broke out. Gerb and Lane’s disagreement turned into a full blown war that escalated so quickly, passersby had no idea how it even happened.

“There was a lot of yelling,” commented a witness who watched the fight break out. “Suddenly the Grill was a warzone.”

“All of this because of power outlets...” stated junior Mario Jones. “It’s true what they say about power bringing destruction. It’s all true.”

Power outlets in the Grill are an extremely rare find, especially with a booth seat, so students are taking necessary precautions until officials can break up the fighting.

“I carry a power strip wherever I go now,” commented Lauren Ajays. “I have a lot of power that way.”

Other students are avoiding the Grill altogether.

“Since the war, I’ve been staying on the second floor near Royal Grounds. It’s a pretty safe distance away from the outbursts in the Grill,” said sophomore Mike Shawls.

Students are hoping officials can control the situation as soon as possible.

“I wish everyone could just calm the heck down,” commented one passerby. “I really just want to get a panini without having to go through a warzone. Is that too much to ask?”

The war continues on, but officials at Bethel are doing everything they can to ease the situation and keep students safe. Until the chaos clears, students are reminded to have their computers and phones fully charged before entering the Grill.


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